Utopia, a short story.

It is ironic that a pessimist should talk about Utopia. But, then it may also be construed that he craves for his Utopia as a solution to his negativity. You will not hear him talk about dystopia, which is the opposite of Utopia, because, that is what, he feels his miserable  life is all about, so why try to remember the familiar.  As he looks at the far skies on a particularly clear day, he spies the universe mushrooming above him, stretching far beyond the milky way and wonders- ‘somewhere over there is my Utopia’.

What makes him miserable is that one incident in his early lifetime, when he walked away, from his only love. Ask not, why, how, when? He did and there is no denying that. Subsequent unbridled ambition led to a life of plenty as also it’s accompanying stresses that took it’s toll, draining all his positivity and leaving behind a vast emptiness. He had everything, but, he did not have peace. He was marred by that one incident, which had negated his entire life’s achievements. It tore him apart. He drowned each day in his despair, buoyed only by spirit filled bottles. He contemplated death in a way, that no one can imagine. Even, trying to find an answer in the Bhagwad Gita, in which, the very first chapter deals with death. Well, he did learn a lot in the ancient Hindu scriptures. Still, that could not make his pain go away.

Three decades passed and chance brought them together via the marvel of social media. He had imagined her to be an angel who would now help him get better. She was a master of the mind, he had learned  and his angel concept was now sprouting wings. He asked to be forgiven. She graciously did. She lamented not finding true love. Neither had he. She had put the past behind her, although she did remember that it had once, almost destroyed her. She had worked hard to create an astounding life for herself, with her positive outlook. She had devoted her life to heal other less fortunate. Her story was inspirational, despite knowing that, it was he, who had inflicted the wounds. And, one fine day, he revealed to her all, about the devils tormenting his soul and she, the healer, patiently heard his story. He revealed all, because, he thought she was his angel. An angel, sent to make him right. A, master of the mind, who would heal him also, just like she healed herself and just like she healed a thousand others like him. He had, at last, found his soul mate. And, he felt better.

But, that is not the end of the story, my friends. This, is not a fairy tale where they lived happily, ever after. Even God’s book, the Bhagwad Gita was written in the midst of treacherous times. An angel is an enticing concept. A straw that a distressed person can grasp. But, the straw breaks. The angel is no more. She changes colors. She turns around and says, abruptly, “You! I will not help. There is nothing in this world, which will make me help you. You can never be my friend!. Go, away and live in your truly deserved misery.”

Here, he was! In a daze. Expecting a miracle. But, his angel had turned into a sorceress. Suddenly, it was dark and thunder, shook the earth around him. He was drenched in the storm, his wounds ripped wide open, bleeding in the falling rain. He fell to his knees, not believing this turn of events. How cud fate be so unkind. Three decades, he wait and it ends in disaster. His angel lay fallen by the wayside. The sky is a dark gloomy gray and black clouds like sponge puff up only to explode, sending a burst of wound ripping rain. He stood up and after gathering his courage shouted back at the black clouds, “ Is that all, you have to give to me! How much more can you rip me apart”. At that time, he realizes, that he had found an inner strength. In his hatred for the sorceress, he had rediscovered his positive side. He saw a light at the end of the tunnel. And, in that light he saw the truth. The truth being that- ‘the only angel, that you can trust is the angel within you’.

So, now, he looks for his imaginary Utopia, in a parallel universe, somewhere far beyond the milky way,  where he can meet his love lost. It is a place, where angels can be trusted. And where, there is always a clear sky for God’s rays to fall upon his wounds and there will come a time, when all his wounds have healed. He will be whole again. The past will not bother him. He will be forgiven. His angels will be smiling again. Yes! Such an Utopia does exist!

And, he walks back home and opens the door to find the telephone ringing. He hastens to pick up the receiver and a familiar voice at the other end, says. “I’m sorry! I was so mean. I hope, you will forgive me”. The thought comes to him, ‘Ah! My Angel returns”. He is a simple person and he forgives, easily.

Today, they are the best of friends. Yes! Angels do exist, but it depends on where you look for them. You have to believe in the Angel within you and miracles can happen. The world is full of Sorceresses, but, remember, only, you can change them into Angels, if you have that trust in yourself. He is no longer a pessimist. They correspond with each other and exchange their life stories. They talk to each other for hours on end catching up for the decades they lost. They grow old together in their parallel universe, knowing, that love heals and so much more can be achieved by just spreading a little love around. And, maybe, one day, they will meet each other, in this world.

Chandru Jain, MD